I'm super busy finishing up everything for Saved By You, and I thought I would post another teaser. I loved this scene as I was writing it a while back, and loved even more when I went back over it today :)
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Enjoy!
Kelly
~~~~~~~
The
parking lot was nearly empty at this hour. Soon, the sun would begin to set,
and the parking lot would swell with diners. But, for now, we had our run of
the place. I glanced at the Starbucks sitting next door, and cringed as I
remembered walking past it with Haden, hand in hand. That moment had been one
of the best and worst times since I’d arrived in Green Falls, and now that I
was so close to it again, the memory was even more powerful.
Guilt
rolled through me when I entered the restaurant. Memories of my childhood
summers surfaced - memories with my family in this very spot - memories with
Mom. Would she ever set foot in there again? Would she ever leave the hospital?
I
pushed the feelings down as best I could. I didn't want to think about that
right now - I couldn’t think about that right now. I couldn’t let
Haden see see that weakness. I had to let him know just how strong I was — that
I was capable of handling anything.
I had
to let myself know just how strong I was — that I was
capable of handling anything.
A
young hostess greeted me and I told her I was there to meet someone. She
pointed me around the corner. Haden was sitting in the far booth, and he saw me
before I saw him. A huge smile spread across his face — it made me ache in ways
that it shouldn’t have.
"I'm
glad you made it," he said as I slid into the booth across from him. I
gave him a puzzled look. “It took you a little while. I was beginning to think
you’d changed your mind.”
I
gave him a tight-lipped smile, not trusting myself to be too genuine. I
couldn't afford to let down my guard, not when it was just the two of us in
that secluded little corner. Haden wasn’t allowed inside. Not anymore.
We
sat for a long time, staring awkwardly at the menu without saying anything. I
wasn’t about to be the first one to say anything. This was his show. I tried my best to focus on the
food, but I didn’t even have a hint of an appetite. Breakfast had been big, and
I just wasn’t in the mood to eat.
"I
haven't been here in forever," he said, finally. I nodded my head, slowly,
trying my hardest not to look up from the menu. "It doesn't look like it’s
changed much," he said with a tiny laugh.
Another
awkward silence passed over us until our waitress finally appeared. She asked
what we’d like to drink.
“Water,
please,” I said.
“Iced
tea,” Haden said. “Hold the lemon.”
She
scooted off, and it was just us, again. The silence was even more oppressive
than before.
"Are
you going to say anything?" he asked. A hint of annoyance in his voice.
"Was
there something you wanted me to say?" I asked, my eyes still locked on
the appetizer section.
"I
don't know.” His palms raised, dropping the menu. "Say anything."
He
blew out a long breath, and drummed his fingers on the table. Then, out of
nowhere, he reached forward and wrapped his hand around mine.
A
shudder ran from my fingertips all the way to my shoulder. Sparks flew, and my
eyes snapped up, locking onto his. Panic descended over me, screaming at every
muscle in my body to jerk away from him. But my body wasn’t listening.
"I'm
sorry, Maggie," he said. "I'm sorry for everything."
My
heart was doing its best to melt with his every word. But I was working even
harder to keep it frozen -- protected.
"You
should be," I said, curtly. My mouth tried
to say even more, but I kept it quiet. Anger rumbled in my stomach, and I knew
that nothing good would come of me running my mouth off.
“How
can you be so upset with me?,” he asked. “I wanted to tell you everything that
night. I wanted to tell you all about who I was — about everything. We just
got… distracted.” He fixed me with another long look. I could see the pain
swelling in his eyes. “Maggie, I never meant to hurt you.”
My
stomach sunk to the floor. I didn't want to think about what had gone on that
night. All of the things that I had shared with him — all the parts of me
I’d shared with him. There was still an emptiness deep nestled deep inside me.
I didn’t think I’d ever be whole again.
"If
all you came to do was apologize, you're wasting your breath,” I said. I tried
to keep my voice steady and even, but the anger sharpened each word.
Haden
winced, and I felt his hand twitch reflexively.
“I
need you to hear me out,” he said, desperate. “You have to believe that I never
meant for this to happen.”
"But,
it did," I said.
The
words sank into him with a certain finality. He leaned back, but didn’t pull
his hand away. He regarded me for a long time, considering what he wanted to
say.
"Maggie,
I wasn't lying when I told you that I love you," he said. The lump in my
stomach turned over, rolling and tumbling inside of me. I swallowed, hard,
trying to settle myself. "I would do anything for you. Just tell me how to
make this right, and I'll do it."
I
could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and the familiar wetness glazed over
my eyes.
How was it possible I still had any tears left?
I
pinched my eyes closed, blotting those tears away. Haden couldn’t see me cry. I
had to be strong.
"I
gave you everything," I said. "I gave you everything that you wanted.
I shared all of myself, and you fed me lies." I bit down, swallowing hard.
When I opened my eyes, again, I could see the hurt in his face. "Were you
lying the whole time so you could get to me? Because, you did a damned good job
of it. You're a better actor than Hollywood gave you credit for."
He
shook his head, sharply.
"I
didn't lie to you," he said. "It's complicated, and I didn't want to
get you mixed up in things until I was certain that you could handle it."
“In
my book, keeping things from me is the same as lying,” I said. "What made
you think I wasn’t good enough to be included in your life? You said you liked
my strength. Was that a lie, too?”
He
squeezed my hand once. My arms were still frozen in place, unable to pull away
from him.
"The
whole situation with Kyle, and the band — its complicated," he said.
"I didn't want you to think that I was just some player who was going to
run off after I got what I wanted."
"But,
that's exactly what's going to happen, isn't it?" I
said. "You're going to run off to your big tour, and you’re going to
forget about that little red-headed girl in that one little town." I shook
my head, my lips pinched flat. "I'm sorry, what did Kyle call it? That shit hole.”
Haden
gave me a hard look.
"I
haven't run off, have I? I'm still here. Still with you." His eyes burned intensely, and he
gave my hand another soft squeeze. The tears were coming on even stronger than
before, but I fought viciously to hold them back. "I'm not leaving without
you. I can't."
My
head dipped, unable to take anymore. The look on Haden's face left no doubt
that he was telling the truth. He had no intention of leaving.
“Do
you expect me to just run away with you?” I said. “Is that what your game plan
is?”
He
shook his head. “I forgot every plan I had the moment I met you,” he said. “I
just want to be with you.”
I
shook my head, trying to force away the images that were surfacing. I would be
lying if I said I hadn’t thought about a life with Haden more than once since I
met him. But things happen, and fantasies don’t always happen the way you want.
Thoughts
of my mom began swirling in my head. Images of her in the car were flashing.
The way she looked after she had caught me with Haden was haunting me. She had
always been so strong — for the both of us. She had always been someone I could
lean on whenever I needed it.
Well,
I needed to lean on her right now. But she wasn’t around. Now it was my
turn to be strong.
"I'm
not going anywhere," I said. "I can't leave my mom, and I can't leave
my family."
Haden
squeezed my hand, again.
"Then
I'm not going anywhere, either," he said.
I
looked up at him, and the tears began flooding down my cheeks. I couldn't hold
them back anymore. I didn’t want to hold them back anymore.
"I
can't do this," I said. "Not like this. Not right now."
With
one final effort of my willpower, I jerked my hand away from him. His eyes went
wide, stunned and speechless.
“I
have to go,” I said. “I can’t be here anymore.”
I
slid out of the booth, nearly toppling into the waitress carrying our drinks.
She sidestepped me, quickly, and I all but ran out of the restaurant, never
looking back.